Thirty Things, I know.... for sure.

I try to think about what I want my life to be like when I turn twenty-five, but all I can think is that it’s only two years from now. My mind asks me to think about thirty than, but it all becomes this hypothetical thing of what ifs and could be’s and I don’t want to go back down that path, and get stuck there and forget about what is right in front of me. Though I also know I need some short of direction or path for my future to go anywhere what so ever. So I thought in the grand scheme of it all I guess I’ll just write down the things I know for sure.

·         I feel like I need to grow up and put away with childlike things, but the inner child never lets me bid her away for too long.

·         I’m much more of a girly girl than a tom boy but I have my days in both realms.

·         I’m a writer, and I wished to be published and make a living out of it. (Well known or not)

·         I watch far too many cop/murder/investigation and horror sitcoms and movies for my own good, but I feel like deep down it keeps me prepared and in the know if should happen in real life.

·         Afraid that I might wake up one morning and Stanley is gone (passed away) I always give him a belly rub and kiss and tell him I love him. (Extras if he doesn’t want to sleep in my room)

·         I get in my own way more than I admit to myself; I let outside sources become inner demons.

·         I like fruit and sorbets and smoothies and such more than I like chocolate or cakes, though a chocolate chip cookie (chewy or soft) is always hard to turn down.

·         I love weather, and get bored of it staying constant and I miss Colorado more for it slightly, besides that my family is there.

·         One of my greatest fears is I will become like the extremely heavy people on TV documentaries that are too big to get out of their chair or bed.

·         Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly fighting the battle of wanting to be pretty (even considered beautiful) but not perceived as dumb. (which I think is fueled by my mother somehow)

·         In regard to the last statement I’m trying to learn to grow out of my habits of not caring how I look, and embracing how I feel and want to look for me.

·         Another one of my fears, and would be regrets is to watch life pass me by. Which I know if I don’t start acting differently or changing things up I will be doing.(Perhaps have been doing for a while now)

·         While I think some of my art and/or writing is good, most of the time I believe its amateur at best.

·         I find it hard to fall asleep at night unless I’m utterly exhausted from the day’s events. And in the morning even harder to get up, regardless of how much sleep I’ve gotten or how fast I feel asleep the night before.

·         Half the time I see the tattoo on my wrist I think it would have been better had I just gotten the one bird on the inside of my wrist near my thumb. (Though it’s constantly out ruled by the reminder it does give me when I think about its meaning.) Plus I’d never get any of my tats removed.

·         I’m afraid that in the end even when I lose the rest of my extra weight, that it won’t be enough.

·         As much as I love going out to dinner and such at night and would at most consider myself a night owl, I think I truly am more of an early morning person, when it does work out right with sleep. I quite enjoy seeing the sunrise and the morning itself.

·         I truly want to be able to go full Monty (totally out) and design and décor my bedroom/ future home one day.

·         As much as it scares me I do one day want to learn how to swim, more so that I can protect/teach my kids when I have them.

·         I want to have kids and be married by the time I’m 35. (Which might be hard to imagine at this point-see very last quote-)

·         I would never get surgery of any kind unless it was needed; I just don’t think it’s wise to mess with what Mother Nature has given you.

·         I would have to live with the guy I want to marry before I married him, since I truly do believe in the saying, “that you don’t truly know a person till you live with them”.

·         I love books and should read them more often, but when it comes to buying them it’s hard because I like to read a book than pass it along for someone else to read than it sit on a shelf to gather dust, just in case I may want to read it again one day.

·         Silly but true I watch as many England Patriot (Seasonal) games as I can just to root for the other team, because I think Tom Brady gets more credit than he deserves.

·         If/when I go back to college I want to study languages (Spanish, French, German, Greek and maybe Arabic) and better my writing and take art/design classes and some music ones(learn piano/guitar) and learn about all the religions and cultures in the world, though in the end I don’t know what degree I’d go after if anything.

·         I wouldn’t mind wearing my glasses more if the frames were wider and they changed in the sun so I wasn’t blinded when I went outside.

·         I am not only a perfectionist to a fault (where I talk myself out of things, or rush them if I know it can’t be perfect) I also have an addictive personality.

·         Alcohols taste gross to me, and in general I’d rather have a Rockstar’s energy drink or some Berry or Apple Sparkling Cider.

·         I’m really interested in how the human body works and while the site of organs is disgusting, my curiosity usual out wins my disgust. Though I can’t stand the sound of breaking bone (when they show the plastic surgeon breaking the nose on the lady getting a nose job with a hammer I cringe. It’s like nails on a chalk board to me.)

·         I am 23 years old and I have never, slow danced, dated, kissed, or had sex with a guy (or anyone) and I’m ok with that, most of the time.

Thank you For reading.