Cheesy But True, I'm Putting My heart out on the line here.....
What I know for sure are some things simple and some things hard, more harder to admit out loud for all to read than think about them stuck inside my head. I have realized that I'm scared of not just putting myself out there but also saying a bunch of stuff about how I feel and how I want life to be, and what does it make of me if those things don't happen. Or shocker, if I change my mind when they aren't what I thought they'd be.
Though without these things, I am nothing but a wanderer with out a sail on my boat, with out a kite on my string. A complete puzzle with no picture to show its done. Life gets meaning from how you live it, and how you talk about it, and how you embrace it. Without any of those your just existing, and hey if this is my only shot at life, at least this life. Why waste such a glorious gift. What benefit do I or anyone one else gain from not just being myself. Doesn't all that stuff I'm afraid of come true if I act a part? Or don't act at all.
Things I know for sure are simple this: Part of my life written in pencil, not in stone. Perhaps some ink a long the way that gets smudge/crossed or scribbled out when plans and experiences change my life.
I want to reach my goal weight to protect myself from my genes, I want to feel awesome in my body and that comes from whole foods / healthy foods and strength from work outs. I want to see myself as I've always felt myself to be. I want to become comfortable enough to try on a bikini and like what it looks like and buy it. Maybe not wear it, but still all the same I want that level of confidence in myself to know its there, but its up to me to show it off. (When and how)
Within the next 10-12 years I wish I could meet a great guy to marry and have children with. Sadly I more so want the children now than the man, but I want a family too. =)
I want to learn more about cultures, languages, writing, animals, art and design, and people.
When I get my own place I want a Zoo, not just of people but of animals especially.
Travel to as many places as I can. My top ten places first of course. (Ask me if you want to know those places)
I never care or want to stop learning new things.
In life we have many things we wish we can do and see and I want them all, but mostly I want to find a true peace within myself because without that I know my world doesn't work right.
A few last things...
Life is never easy, but anything worth living shouldn't be.
Some times to find the things you love, you have to stop searching and let them find you.
...and finally (this quote has had a lot of different ways written and said but all the same it holds the same truth)
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
....Thank you for reading.
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