To the elephant in the room, that is emotions.

Late night mind chatter when falling asleep at times can give you the best ideas and sometimes the best insight to who we really are. If we remember these things of course, lately I’ve been stuck in my head of doing anything really. I think I compared it to trying to do the Macarena in a crowded clown car for some odd reason I don’t know, maybe because I couldn’t think of where else it would be hard to actually do it. Anyways, as my thoughts tend to drift about things to do, things I should be doing and could be’s and what if’s as I tried to go to sleep either last night or the nights past I started to think about emotions.

Blame Oprah’s network new show “Addicted to Food” (Monday nights I believe) where they showed words to use in their therapy sessions to help/ control the situation I guess;  and how we sometimes can’t really separate the real emotion from the need to feed ourselves be it with food or whatever else you have found your coping mechanism to be. My mind kept telling me that boredom was my issue that need of finding something else to do. But I know I also eat because of things like stress, of trying to hide from an issue or even because I’m happy and it sounds good because well that treat(food) brings happy feelings too.  That’s when emotions came into play about how I deal with them how I react how I am in fact emotional. 

Not your typical can cry at the simplest thing or at the drop of a hat or anything it’s more of I’m very mellow unless I feel strongly about a certain issue thing or whatever it is. It’s like I guess the best way to explain it would be the bang that comes after the dynamites fuse has worn out. I get so worked up about an issue till I bust and that’s how I feel things. Most people have a degree I guess knob we can call it about how much we care or think about an issue.  People can usually control that, me on the other hand I react to things like the catch phrase “Winning-duh” has caught on by we know who.

When it comes to food part of my emotional stand point I think was to feel that powerful fullness; aka too full really. Or even sometimes that ache of I need to eat in the past came too, but I think a slightly small factor to this was the way my parents worded how we went about seconds in our household. It was always if you want more, than when you’re done you can get more. Not if you’re hungry, plus we also had the whole clean your plate method which we know isn’t the best advice either.

When life came into it when thinking about how I feel so lost a lot of the time, when I think about my future and things I want to do. I realize I’m looking for that extreme emotion or connection to what I want to do with my life, that I think others have when they find the thing they want to do. What maybe I’m missing is that this is one of those times they find a peace or a need or pull towards that one thing, more times than other things and not this shouting voice in quiet room saying “BE THIS” or “BE THAT.”  They’ve probably thought about it or it’s just something that makes sense to them because they’ve done it all their life and like doing it. Or when thinking about it, that is where they wanted to help out in the world.

I haven’t found my one path yet and I don’t think I’m meant for one solid path, don’t really think anyone is. It’s about what we see and how we relate to the world, dynamite emotions or not. But it’s helped me realize that just like other things in this world that, I probably share this weird emotional thing too and well that helps. Plus it makes me not worry so much about finding my shouting source of where I’m supposed to be in this world. Maybe after all it’s not a shouting voice it’s just a whisper going, “Hey remember me.”

Thanks for reading.